Bleaauuuugggghhhhh

Anyone else feeling completely steamrolled the past 5 days since 5-5-5?

OMG, there are moments I think I am going to pass out or just collapse. I’m not sick, I am pretty sure (okay, maybe a little anemic, but shouldn’t be so much so).

It comes in waves.

I feel like most nights I am off and doing god-knows-what — I was reading on Denise’s site about recon missions (too tired to ‘splain more right now). I swear I am on some kind of nocturnal SWAT team and I am doing major work, kind of like The Avengers in the new movie. EXHAUSTING. No “proof” of that, just the sense that could be what’s going on. Or something like Neo’s training sessions aboard the Nebuchadnezzer in the first Matrix movie. Oy vey. I have a feeling I am no longer training, but warring in the trenches at this point, though.

My lower back is seizing up so hard tonight I can barely stand it. And hoooo boy, the attacks? Mental ones. Ego-based ones. There are creeping insidious thoughts. One I keep thinking about in regards to my husband (a long and complicated story) is “the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference.” We have grown into such indifference.That’s all I can say about that right now. But it sucks. He was supposed to have been my “twin flame” and all I sense about the relationship now is that he is my twin flop. Twin flab. Twin FAIL.

It’s bad. It’s at the point where if it was an alien love bite or some other kind of manipulation, it’s exposed and flopping. If in fact he is my TF (or something like that) well then, we are totally under attack and have a major, major block. I know some of it in the 3D explanatory realm are his addictions. He does not drink anymore and he does not surf and collect hardcore porn, but there are replacements for these things. They are just as insidious although a lot more innocent-seeming.

Other than that, I had some terrific news this week. A longtime reader and friend of Denise’s on the site offered to help me with understanding my natal chart about a month ago. I received an email from here that I only just saw last night (after seeing an earlier email, but skipping over a follow-up from her. Chalk it up to my unfamiliarity with Gmail). In the message, she let me know that I have an undeniable connection to the Pleiades. I kinda freaked at that — it was a total bonus confirmation for me. Starseed I am, and while I knew about it over three years ago, I am now embracing it more and more.

And still hardly believing I am down this far deep in all this. Sometimes it, unfortunately, reminds me of when I was a Baptist (haha). But I sure as shit hope that this is the real deal. Else, seriously, someone please just send me to the funny farm.

In all seriousness, I was brainwashed by conservative Christianity 24+ years ago. There are some dear, dear loving people who are people enslaved to that way of thought. It does not seem that way to them, and they will pretty much martyr themselves for the “cause of Christ,” but I saw it for what it was some time ago now. I don’t ever want to be brainwashed that way again, and sometimes I worry that’s what I am doing or engaging in with this stuff, too. I know as a co-dependent, I am susceptible to it.

This feels vastly different in many, many ways; however, in other ways there are “markers” that some of “this” (the whole tinfoil-hat stuff; see past blogs. Again, too tired to get into it now) is the same. How to discern what is what? How to know if the parts of me that sincerely feel like they are just “checking out” of this planet aren’t just some kind of brainwashy enterprise, eh?

I need to see and know some of the goods, dear Pleiadian Team. Yes, the email about my connections to the planet as a Taurus (oh god, don’t ask me to remember or even begin to say what it was about my natal chart was so connected to the Pleiades right now. Maybe I’ll do it later, when I can make more sense of it myself) helped a lot.

Is it too much (or even possible) to ask for something, well, more “concrete” (vis à vis 3D, I guess is what I am getting at)? Should I be careful what I ask for?

Oh, the acceleration of clock times has been helping, too. Numerous 11’s throughout the day, numerous meaningful (to me) patterns as I interact with digital clocks and other things containing numbers. Yeah, those are always good. They are definitely on the rise this week.

But I am, you know, thinking a sighting of some kind or an “encounter” — oh yeah, no. Changed my mind. I definitely don’t want a negative encounter to come of this. *whistling in the dark*

Something warm and fuzzy perhaps? (LOL — yeah, I think all of this is anything but that).

Maybe like when the mirror starts to morph when Morpheus (hahahaha — oh I just got that. “MORPHeus”) gives Neo the red pill. I don’t know if I want to see myself in a pod or anything like that, though.

I know: how about a real life human being who is also into this shit, someone I can meet face-to-face, someone on Team Light, someone who knows what this stuff is and can corroborate. Someone that I know not just online. That would be cool.

Well, I am totally blathering my way through this. This is much more my own personal journal of all this stuff. In no way do I claim to be any kind of *ahem* “spokesperson” for the Pleiadian Team, in case you came here hoping for such. Nope, I am just as confused as the next guy/girl and trying to muddle my way through.

Exhausted.

L & L, y’all. Hope you are all holding up. I am, just in a very tired way. And minorly discouraged way. *sigh*

Sleep well (I’m going to sleep now in my time zone).

Calliope the Muse

P.S. I pick Merope to be the Pleiadian planet to be from, just so you know. A ) It rhymes with “Calliope.” (At least I am pretty sure it does. I should confirm.) B ) It is a LOST PLANET! How cool and sci-fi is THAT?! 😉 Over and out.

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Etheric Body Work and Other Lessons

[Note: 16 April 2012 – UPDATE below]

I’m back, after three days away, busily learning so very much I can barely keep up. As I referred to in my last post, my sense of time and that “time is of the essence” (meaning: get to work!) is speeding up. I definitely feel a straddling of 3, 4, and 5D in the past couple of weeks, something I have not felt in a long time (about five years, in fact — well, for sure about exactly four years, and five if I count my Kundalini Awakening in the mix).

De-programming (aka, back on the “Magic Bus”)

In the previous post, I also mentioned that I have just this week again been using TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique). It is something I was guided to five, almost six, years ago, and something which I learned and used extensively until about 2008 when a lot of things (use of etheric and esoteric healing, communication with my guides, a strong sense of and interaction with the 4 and 5D) ground to a halt. From June of 2008 onward, I felt like I was dumped off at the curb by my higher self (my inner guidance, my connection to Source) and I was tossed into the muck and mire of day-to-day life of living with a binge alcoholic (who on, get this, 1-11-11 tried to overdose on Tylenol PM tablets and sedatives while drunk and who is, as of 1-11-11, a recovering alcoholic. He’s also now my husband and doing fairly well with his recovery, although my latest information downloads are drawing us further apart at the moment. Perhaps more on that later).

This feeling of being dumped off at the curb, as of this year (although activation started in September of last year around the Equinox), has changed. I am now back “on board the Magic Bus,” and my guides have become plural. My “higher self” often used to refer to herself in the plural using “we” but was only ever one voice, or the inner guidance gave me the impression of one personality at that time. It’s now definitely plural, a “team” that is working with me, and I “see” them (in my “mind’s eye”) as shadowy pluralities. My original guide is still there, and it is still just her “voice” that I perceive, but she is definitely a part of a team at present.

Yesterday after experiencing yet another bout of abdominal pain (a numbness, pain, and swelling in the upper abdomen just under my left ribcage), I was told that it was a program that was inserted into my etheric body and that I would use TAT to “de-program” it and then perform some etheric body surgery on myself.

A couple of years ago (actually, just over three years), I met the most lovely Lightworker here in my city, a young woman from Arizona, but who has been living in the same country as me for over 10 years now. I have not seen her in a while (she and I are so busy doing our work, 3 and 4/5D), but if not for her, I would not have survived 2009-2011. Honestly. Between her and my best friend, another Lightworker with whom I have up to now been partnered (my current understandings of what is *really* going on as it is being revealed to me are putting a bit of a wedge between us), I don’t know if I would have made it.

My Arizona friend was learning how to do etheric body surgery in 2010 (with this team here), and I was one of her practice “guinea pigs” and learned from her what it is and what it feels like.

So yesterday, I held the pose of TAT, was deprogrammed by my “team” , and then I was told how to extract different programs/entities from my abdominal region through etheric surgery. Any of you seen The Matrix trilogy? Do you remember the Sentinels? Well, in my mind’s eye (perceiving with my right brain the imagery that is presented mentally in regards to the 4th dimension), that’s what some of these programs/parasitic entities look like.

Here’s a strange thing: just as I was typing those paragraphs above, I had a huge urge to smoke. I have struggled with smoking (wanting to, doing it, and trying to give it up) ever since late 2004 when I was 36 years old. It’s a long story, but through my Kundalini Awakening (2006), I went from smoking three cigarettes a day (“cloves” — Indonesian clove-flavored tobacco cigarettes) to a pack a day (I eventually switched to regular cigarettes just as a nicotine delivery device; cloves are more expensive than regular cigs). I gave up the pack-a-day habit in September of 2009, but have struggled with episodes of smoking and then quitting every three or four months since then. It’s tied in with my allergies and the changing of seasons, as well as triggered by stressful events.

I have again been “flirting” with cigarettes the past three or four weeks with the start of spring and spring allergies (as well as the stress of coming out of the winter months and the rapid changes of 2012 so far). In addition, the people I work for are smokers and there are situations where I smoke with them, although I no longer bring the habit into my own home nor buy my own packs of cigarettes that I take along with me to smoke when I am outside. Instead, I buy their brand, leave a pack of cigarettes at their homes (so they can have some if they want them) and then when I am there, I feel free to smoke and not like I am leeching off of them with mooching their ciggies; I have my own if we all decide to smoke. This is just short of starting up again, as you can see.

Friday, I was at the home of one of the people I work for, waiting for him as he needed to finish a task before we started work together (I tutor him in English), and I took one of “my” cigarettes (from the pack I left there) to smoke as I waited. As I was smoking, I was explicitly told by my team that it was time to STOP. If I wanted further contact from them, I would have to quit as this was a program that was interfering with communications with them. They said I would use TAT to purge myself of the program (and yes, these are called “programs,” as in “alien implants”. I know, I know. I think it is weird, too, but this is the place my inner guidance is demanding that I go!), and subsequently experience etheric surgery as well (maybe performed by me, but more likely by them, I perceive, as it affects more regions of the etheric body and with smaller attached programs). The idea that smoking is interference for communication is a concept I have understood for a while, maybe not exactly in those bold terms (who wants to believe that extraterrestrials are talking inside of their head? Seriously? Please note the name of this blog, lol), but have understood on some level nonetheless.

Just now, when the urge was upon me to smoke, they said to pause on this post, hold the TAT position so that they could energetically assist me with my participation in opening up the “portal” to my connection with my etheric body, and then a clearing process would ensue.

So I did.

I wish I could adequately explain all the feelings I have when I do TAT: the sense of my “third eye” pulsing, and energy rushes into my brain. I feel these things *physically* and they are very, very actual feelings. It’s one of the ways I know that this is not all some kind of fakery, some kind of joke. Ever since starting TAT, I feel very powerful energy surges when I use it, as well as intense pressure in my brain and sometimes Kundalini energy surging in my chakra energy centers.

The program was extracted, and I felt them draw a really large amorphous black blob in a vaguely cylindrical form, an energy in dimension that would be about a foot and a half to two feet (so, roughly half a meter to 2/3 meter); it was kind of “barfed up” (lol – sorry, don’t have another way to describe it) from my etheric body (it reminded me of a hairball from a cat, only bigger and not hairy, just black and tar like? Maybe the energetic imprint from the actual tar in cigarettes?). Again, I saw this all clearly with my mind’s eye, the place where I see the “movies in my head” when I read a book, the place where imagination springs and we can “see” with our mind, but not with our eyes. I do feel physical sensations when this is all happening, though, so I understand it is very real, just in another dimension.

The other day — Saturday — much of the same happened with my abdominal surgery. A de-programming, and then I, with my physical hands pulled things energetically — parasites, parasite programs, often with tentacles that are embedded energetically to my energetic/etheric body — from my being. Yes, I was making the motions with my physical hands, and yes, I could feel these things leave my body energetically. I was told to just toss them away into the etheric 4D where they are taken care of, I guess. I just literally toss with my hands the “imaginary thing” in my hands away from my body. It’s gone.

You know that feeling when someone puts a hand close to yours without touching, or the energy you feel from someone to whom you are very physically attracted, or the sensation you know when someone is staring at you? These are all emanations of energy and the kinds of feelings I have when performing these surgeries on myself. It sounds spooky to be doing this myself, but it is not. It’s not any worse, honestly, than pulling a splinter from one’s own finger or sticking disinfectant and a Band Aid on a papercut. It feels “bigger” than doing those things, and more intense in some ways, but something I know and understand I am capable of doing.

Okay, so much for etheric body work. Questions? Ask in comments below.

Other Lessons

Denise LeFay did it again with turning me on to so many websites and pieces of information. There have been many things that I have been turned on to that I’m not sure what to go ahead and post here. You know that old saying from Timothy Leary in 1967: “Tune in, turn on, drop out”? (See here.) Yeah, I am getting more information and insights than if I had dropped 10 tabs of acid, lol (not that I know what that is like — I never tried it. But I have friends who have and been around people tripping and have some ideas of the powerful insights that can come when opening doors that way. I’m not recommending that mode, not now anyway, when you can open the same portals just by asking in this day and age, but I understand it is one way that people open up to spiritual understandings).

I’m definitely tuned in, becoming more and more turned on, and it remains to be seen if I drop out much as I did in 2008-2009. I’m going down the rabbit hole, baby. It gets deeper with each step, and I am in training to handle it.

  • Here’s a great post from Denise that features a radio interview of Lisa Renee by the podcast The Hundredth Monkey —-> link
  • Listening to that post as well as Lisa Renee’s monthly podcasts has led me to begin watching her YouTube series called “Ascension Cycle Timeline” from 2010. All of Lisa Renee’s videos can be found on this page (or search for the “Energetic Synthesis” page on YouTube itself), and the six-part “Ascension Cycle Timeline” series is on the second page of all the videos (see link —-> here).
  • A few posts ago, Denise also featured information from Bernhard Guenther — a video on his website “Piercing the Veil of Reality” called “Love, Reality, and the Time of Transition” (go —-> here to watch it). In fact, I still have not been able to watch the entire video because of an Internet connection of late that is still running only in the 1 mbps range (it should be closer to 10 mbps), but because of exploring the website/blog, I ran into some interesting information. Okay, hang on — not on that site as I had thought. Now I recall that it was in a comment on the post that Denise LeFay wrote linking folks into the Bernhard Guenther site. Correction 4-16-2102: I realized that it was not the “Love, Reality, and the Time of Transition” video that led me to investigation of Even Lorgen and Karla Turner (see links below), but the post “UFOs, Aliens, and the Question of Contact” —-> link. There is seriously more information in that post to digest than in many I have seen. I realized my error when just today, Monday April 16, I started to re-read the information presented. It’s well-worth checking out.
  • Anyway, I learned about Alien Love Bites from Eve Lorgen, and read several of the articles available on her site —-> here. (I’m wondering if I am in one of those situations or if I am in a Twin Flame relationship, as I was told in 2006. So much depends upon the answer, and I am not sure I really want to know at this point.)
  • And, it feels like taking a bit of a risk in adding this one because of the nature of the beasts involved, I have read the Karla Turner book Taken and have just started Into the Fringe. I found the books available in downloadable PDF files from this website —–> here.

I’m definitely revving up for what I think will be full-on contact, hopefully with my Pleiadian family (like, for “real”. Not just this “in my head” stuff, but contact in the 3D of some kind). I try not to freak about contact with some of the others, but, frankly, I keep asking if I have been or will be abducted, and they (my “team”) keep saying, “No, because you are 2/3 Pleiadian, and they know not to fuck with you like that.” Their words, not mine. Ha. I’m sure it is not actually the word “fuck” but it carries the same meaning in Pleiadian telepathy, lol.

(God I feel fucking weird typing that… *shakes head* And 2/3 Pleiadian? WTF is that?)

I also just put quotation marks around the word “real” up there in the previous paragraph’s first sentence and then kind of laughed, for the 3D is really the illusion, it is really the Matrix. It’s all relative, as Einstein would say, haha.

Okay, I think that is it. I hope perhaps in the future, as I have said, to share more links, in part so I have a history of what is going on with me, and in part so that others can read and investigate for themselves, too.

My stomach has been feeling much better by the way, noticeably even as I have been typing this, and I am not reacting to foods the way that they had been irritating me for months now.  I have tenderness, but it is already so much better. I have more “clean up”of residual parasitic programs, but they are going to be dealt with, either by me, or by my team.

Stay cool.

Peace out.

Calliope the Muse

UPDATE: 16 April 2012

This morning I did more abdominal etheric surgery as I awoke with extreme numbness and a feeling like something was crawling or writhing in my upper abdomen, just under my left ribcage where I have always perceived my stomach to be. I visualized another program coming to the surface and was instructed to hold the TAT hand positions on my head, and then after it was deprogrammed by my team, via TAT, I extracted it (etherically), and tossed it aside. I then was asked to go back to sleep.

Later this afternoon, I jumped on a scale that my visiting mother-in-law brought with her from the US (and on which I weighed myself four days ago): I have already lost one pound. 🙂

Now there is some evidence that this stuff has some effect on my physical body in 3D.  😉 Nice. Just nice. It feels good to be lightening my earthly load in this way and see the empirical evidence in 3D that it works.