Bleaauuuugggghhhhh

Anyone else feeling completely steamrolled the past 5 days since 5-5-5?

OMG, there are moments I think I am going to pass out or just collapse. I’m not sick, I am pretty sure (okay, maybe a little anemic, but shouldn’t be so much so).

It comes in waves.

I feel like most nights I am off and doing god-knows-what — I was reading on Denise’s site about recon missions (too tired to ‘splain more right now). I swear I am on some kind of nocturnal SWAT team and I am doing major work, kind of like The Avengers in the new movie. EXHAUSTING. No “proof” of that, just the sense that could be what’s going on. Or something like Neo’s training sessions aboard the Nebuchadnezzer in the first Matrix movie. Oy vey. I have a feeling I am no longer training, but warring in the trenches at this point, though.

My lower back is seizing up so hard tonight I can barely stand it. And hoooo boy, the attacks? Mental ones. Ego-based ones. There are creeping insidious thoughts. One I keep thinking about in regards to my husband (a long and complicated story) is “the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference.” We have grown into such indifference.That’s all I can say about that right now. But it sucks. He was supposed to have been my “twin flame” and all I sense about the relationship now is that he is my twin flop. Twin flab. Twin FAIL.

It’s bad. It’s at the point where if it was an alien love bite or some other kind of manipulation, it’s exposed and flopping. If in fact he is my TF (or something like that) well then, we are totally under attack and have a major, major block. I know some of it in the 3D explanatory realm are his addictions. He does not drink anymore and he does not surf and collect hardcore porn, but there are replacements for these things. They are just as insidious although a lot more innocent-seeming.

Other than that, I had some terrific news this week. A longtime reader and friend of Denise’s on the site offered to help me with understanding my natal chart about a month ago. I received an email from here that I only just saw last night (after seeing an earlier email, but skipping over a follow-up from her. Chalk it up to my unfamiliarity with Gmail). In the message, she let me know that I have an undeniable connection to the Pleiades. I kinda freaked at that — it was a total bonus confirmation for me. Starseed I am, and while I knew about it over three years ago, I am now embracing it more and more.

And still hardly believing I am down this far deep in all this. Sometimes it, unfortunately, reminds me of when I was a Baptist (haha). But I sure as shit hope that this is the real deal. Else, seriously, someone please just send me to the funny farm.

In all seriousness, I was brainwashed by conservative Christianity 24+ years ago. There are some dear, dear loving people who are people enslaved to that way of thought. It does not seem that way to them, and they will pretty much martyr themselves for the “cause of Christ,” but I saw it for what it was some time ago now. I don’t ever want to be brainwashed that way again, and sometimes I worry that’s what I am doing or engaging in with this stuff, too. I know as a co-dependent, I am susceptible to it.

This feels vastly different in many, many ways; however, in other ways there are “markers” that some of “this” (the whole tinfoil-hat stuff; see past blogs. Again, too tired to get into it now) is the same. How to discern what is what? How to know if the parts of me that sincerely feel like they are just “checking out” of this planet aren’t just some kind of brainwashy enterprise, eh?

I need to see and know some of the goods, dear Pleiadian Team. Yes, the email about my connections to the planet as a Taurus (oh god, don’t ask me to remember or even begin to say what it was about my natal chart was so connected to the Pleiades right now. Maybe I’ll do it later, when I can make more sense of it myself) helped a lot.

Is it too much (or even possible) to ask for something, well, more “concrete” (vis Ć  vis 3D, I guess is what I am getting at)? Should I be careful what I ask for?

Oh, the acceleration of clock times has been helping, too. Numerous 11’s throughout the day, numerous meaningful (to me) patterns as I interact with digital clocks and other things containing numbers. Yeah, those are always good. They are definitely on the rise this week.

But I am, you know, thinking a sighting of some kind or an “encounter” — oh yeah, no. Changed my mind. I definitely don’t want a negative encounter to come of this. *whistling in the dark*

Something warm and fuzzy perhaps? (LOL — yeah, I think all of this is anything but that).

Maybe like when the mirror starts to morph when Morpheus (hahahaha — oh I just got that. “MORPHeus”) gives Neo the red pill. I don’t know if I want to see myself in a pod or anything like that, though.

I know: how about a real life human being who is also into this shit, someone I can meet face-to-face, someone on Team Light, someone who knows what this stuff is and can corroborate. Someone that I know not just online. That would be cool.

Well, I am totally blathering my way through this. This is much more my own personal journal of all this stuff. In no way do I claim to be any kind of *ahem* “spokesperson” for the Pleiadian Team, in case you came here hoping for such. Nope, I am just as confused as the next guy/girl and trying to muddle my way through.

Exhausted.

L & L, y’all. Hope you are all holding up. I am, just in a very tired way. And minorly discouraged way. *sigh*

Sleep well (I’m going to sleep now in my time zone).

Calliope the Muse

P.S. I pick Merope to be the Pleiadian planet to be from, just so you know. A ) It rhymes with “Calliope.” (At least I am pretty sure it does. I should confirm.) B ) It is a LOST PLANET! How cool and sci-fi is THAT?! šŸ˜‰ Over and out.

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5 thoughts on “Bleaauuuugggghhhhh

  1. I feel you Calliope. ALL the way around. I would say more but I am too pooped. I just wanted you to know that we are in the same boat. Ditto to all of this including the Twin FAIL! LOL! Gotta laugh to keep from crying. Hang in there.

    1. LOL — that same boat is getting quite full, isn’t it?! šŸ˜€ I have been too pooped (and busy) to tell you how much I appreciated the reply you left me on your blog post, too. But I did love it. In a couple of moments I will try to get over there to let you know there, too.

      Did you read the new blog post by Denise? Yeah, I felt that one was written for me & am now re-thinking my need to use the shield, heh.

      You take care and hang in there, too. At least the fact that we are all being buffeted at the same time in similar ways boost my confidence in that there is credence to all of this, you know?

      Hugs,
      Calliope
      (I almost keep typing my real name when signing off, lol. Oh, and I did find out that Merope *does* rhyme with Calliope! Apparently the endings both sound like “oh pee.” Haha.)

      1. Yes I DID read the latest from Denise after I read yours and in the midst of typing mine and we were all singing the same tune in our own different ways…harmonizing.

        I was going to ask you about that 12D shield and whether or not you have been using it and what your results were. I’ve watched the video a couple of times and just couldn’t bring myself do it. The other night before going to bed I said “12D shield activate!” without going through the proper steps LOL! and I actually got a couple of hours of sleep but my norm has been to be wide awake all night long and most of the day but I think that I told you that already.

        I am running on no sleep as of right now and I actually have a pretty massive headache. Instead of pain meds I just did a bit of what I call water therapy and I should be knocking off to sleep here soon but I saw your reply and wanted to ask about the shield.

        I intend to try it and blog about my experience but I have been so overwhelmed with all of this additional alien information and I can’t seem to be able to contain it all…as if my life wasn’t freaky enough.

        Alright then Calliope from Merope have a good one!

        G

      2. LOL!! I am getting there. I just posted a long comment on your aliens post, and I was going to comment on the 12 D Shield post next, if I can. I have to leave in about 25 min, but I am having a great time on your blog.

        You take care, and I hope you get some much-needed rest. I’ll send good vibes that you do. šŸ™‚

        xx
        Calliope

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